» Fonts previously recommended by Lockergnome «

Note:
Most, if not all the following are extracts from Chris Pirillo's   free     newsletter.

Please note that Chris's newsletter included images of the fonts below. However, you really don't want to open this page with hundreds of images attached...

Character Map Pro v1.5 [202k] W9x/NT FREE     GnomeDESKTOP
When you're editing a rich text document, sometimes it's nice to see what a font looks like before you use it. Some fonts don't look superb at smaller point sizes (like detailed dingbats), so in order to see characters in all their glory, you need to increase the font size a little bit. The default character map is obsolete, thanks to (a non-Microsoft) Character Map Pro. You can resize the character preview window to any size, large or small, in real-time.

Cfont Pro v1.6 [223k] W9x/2K FREE     Checkit out

GnomeDESKTOP
Cfont Pro allows you to quickly view all fonts currently loaded on your system. You can scroll through each font with a custom preview of your choice (background color, text color, and text displayed). In addition, the program lets you preview and install fonts from any directory, CD, or folder without having to install them first. The built in slideshow feature allows you to cycle through all your fonts and preview them without user intervention

FontLoader v1.0.1 [480k] W9x/NT FREE    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I'm sure Lockergnome is just one of your sources for finding new fonts. I've been asked quite a few times: "Once I've downloaded a font, how do I get that sucker installed?" Well, it usually just takes a drag & drop into the Font folder, but with this fantastic new shell extension, you can right-click on a font and find four new options: Load, Unload, Install, and Uninstall. NOTE: to use this proggie, you must first find the password on the Moon Software products page.

Font Matcher v1.1b [148k] W9x/NT FREE     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
{Revolutionary font face finder} My, that's quite a unique typeface; what's it called? "I can't remember." It looks original, how could you recall its name? "It's not my fault; I have hundreds of TTFs." You're far from alone. Fontaholics fill up folders fast, but they often forget what each face is named. Take a bitmap of any font character and this program will compare it to the fonts in your collection. It'll display every possible match.

FONT: 13 Ghosts [25k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
You're not going to believe me when I tell you this, but I had some ghosts living in my closet when I was a child. The leader of the pack was a spirit named Buford; he liked to hide in my laundry pile to wrinkle my dirty clothes. Then there was Jinky; she would float in and out of my dress garments to make them stiff and uncomfortable. I'd often find Scott mismatching my socks, and Yolanda was always putting random stains on my shirts. Perhaps you've been visited by these apparitions, too?

FONT: 50's Yesterdings [44k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
"Let's cruise down to Bob's Malt Shop and wolf down a few cheeseburgers... just as long as they don't use processed cheese; all that transfatty stuff makes my arteries scream for mercy. And we better make it a diet soda -- I'm watching my figure." Well, things certainly aren't what they used to be. Thank goodness we can still capture the magic of the 50's through fonts! Gimme a couple seconds... I'll join you in the back of your classic cruiser! Er, I mean -- stationwagon.

FONT: A

All these have gone over the years...

FONTS: Baby's Breath    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I grew up with two younger brothers, and on top of that, we didn't have very many girls in our neighborhood. You can imagine that we didn't see a lot of dolls--but we did have a lot of tea parties. Hey, I didn't need an excuse to munch on some cookies and drink a few gallons of Kool Aid. While these dingbats will probably appeal more to the female of the species, anybody could benefit from downloading them. Just think of all the coloring books you could create for your younger friends?

FONT: Barnyard [53k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
You can't throw a stick in Iowa without hitting agricultural land. Even in the city, you're flanked by farms. Not everybody from this great state is a farmer, although most of us are related to at least one. Pesticide advertisements and market reports are never more than five minutes away. Did you know that there are different types of chickens? Some are raised for egg production, others are raised for... Colonel Sanders. NOTE: tipping chickens isn't as fun as tipping cows.

FONT: BigTop [49k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
We may be in the middle of nowhere, but the circus still comes to town! Of course, I never experienced the "thrill" of watching the workers actually pitch one of those large tents. The 'rings' were always in one of the larger auditoriums in Des Moines. If I had to choose a favorite circus performer, it would have to be: the clown. Why? Elephants smell funny, trapeze artists are daredevils, and the lion tamer doesn't seem to enjoy his job very much. Besides, they usually made me laugh. Until it was time to leave... then I wanted to cry.

FONT: Blair Witchdings [61k] (Unearthed by Shaun "theNOIZ" Nelson)     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Have you seen the low-budget hit of the season? I'm no professional critic, but the only thing frightening about that movie was the price of the ticket. I went with five friends -- and each one of us got motion sickness. I kept waiting for the plot to pick up and get 'spooky,' but it remained completely unbelievable. Destined to be a cult classic, "The Blair Witch Project" already has a strong Internet following. If your Desktop isn't haunted, give the Witchdings a spin.

FONT: Brooklyn Kid [19k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Growing up in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa was tough; we had peer pressure, too. I remember being approached once by the local bean gang (lima chapter). They were out to get the Soys, and they needed my help. Of course, I "just said no" and walked the other way. There was also a strong corn faction in town; if they weren't fighting over the usage of ethanol, they were tattooing "Jiffy Pop" on each others' arms. And have you ever experienced a drive-by cow tipping? It'll change your life forever. "When you've got nothing to do, make 'em moo."

FONT: Bungle City [14k]    
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GnomeDesktop
Just as you should never leave a child unattended at an amusement park, don't ever turn your back on the Font folder. Without warning, each typeface may commit itself to making your Desktop a living nightmare. Or worse yet, they may band together and launch an all-out assault on your precious documents. Punishment for outbursts should be swift and severe, or they'll become spontaneously creative. Keep morale low by installing plain, boring fonts. We don't want a war on our hands, people. Oh no... they've just seized control!

FONT: Button by Fanta [5k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
From the looks of pages on the web, too many people lack the creative gene. In fact, I'd wager to say that my mouse pad has more graphical talent than most so-called webmasters. But don't take offense to this--if you know you're not good and can admit it to the world, you've taken the first step. The second step is: download this dingbat. If you need to make buttons for your site's navigational system, this font can help. Other dingbats can be downloaded from the author's site.

FONT: Camden [90k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
When I'm a student in the classroom, I doodle; I've had the habit since fifth grade. I probably wasted more ink on scribblings than on notes. It's very difficult for me to pay attention to a topic when I have no desire to learn about it... or, when the teacher is about as exciting as applesauce. I've never taken any formal art or design classes, either. I'm not the best artist in the world, but at least I can get my ideas across and play a mean game of Pictionary. To give your document a doodled appearance, try Camden; it won't rot your teeth.

FONT: Candle [23k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Did you know that computer monitors of the seventeenth century were actually lit up by internal candles? While hard to believe, it's true. A fourteen inch screen was a dream in those days, too; you'd be lucky to have one inch. Though historians have largely ignored these facts, the Internet was around and in full force. Granted, electricity had not quite been harnessed yet, so communications took place via horses. They traveled somewhere around .000001 baud.

FONT: Candy Cane [83k]     Visit Matchfonts site

GnomeDESKTOP
Over the last few months, my life has changed drastically. And no, I'm not specifically referring to getting married. I'm talking about a dietary change that I made to become a bit more "healthy". A big part of that was cutting out sugar. You know that I'm not drinking soda pop (Pepsi, Coke, etc.) anymore, and I really don't miss it all that much. However, Candy Canes are my all time favorite candy... I'm about to break down and engulf a few boxloads of 'em.

FONT: Cassatta Zig [32k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Adults once told me that drinking coffee will stunt your growth. Well, I know darn well that I'm never gonna see the other side of six feet. So, the other week, I started to put a little caffenation into my daily routine. I haven't found the right organic blend yet, but I've got the real cream measurements down to a science. A side effect from the shot of caffeine? I haven't slept a wink and I'll start shaking whenever someone starts up the microwave.

FONT: Celestial []    
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GnomeDESKTOP
The universe is vast, filled with so many unanswered questions. If an angel loses a game show, does it get a constellation prize? "We're sorry you've lost the game, but here's a Big Dipper for you. Use it to find your way North. This prize also doubles as a Big Bear, for your personal protection." What kind of questions should they ask in the heavens? Aren't all the answers supposed to be written in the stars? Who the heck has a magic marker that big, anyway? But perhaps I've asked too much...

FONT: Chaotic Circuit [88k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Growing up, we were told not to stick paper clips into electrical outlets. I don't remember hearing anything about doing the same with rubber bands. They're both common office supplies, but electricity reacts differently to them. In Iowa, if you stick a rubber band into a hot socket, it'll start singing show tunes. I didn't believe it, either--until I heard it for myself. Whatever you do, don't interrupt it, or it'll start tearing up your floors and furniture. Total chaos, man.

FONT: Christmas Tree [22k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
I was surprised to find that Gretchen & I had enough decorations to trim the tree this year. Unfortunately, we couldn't get a real evergreen (the apartment complex doesn't allow them). So, we went out and "cut down" a decent fake one. You could hardly tell the difference. Sure, the metal pole in the middle sorta gives it away... but a little bit of tinsel will hide anything! Too bad you can't throw decorations on fonts. I suppose it'd get messy, anyway.

FONT: Cirquel Dingbats [17k]     Download file    Visit Netcirque

GnomeDesktop
I've talked to people who have claimed to be graphic artists (don't worry, these impostors are not Lockergnomies). Remember: using an image editing program doesn't make you a designer... just as going to the Broadway Diner doesn't make you a hamburger. We all need a little help sometimes, so the gang over at netcirque.com created a fantastic little font filled with fabulous circular dingbats for us to use freely in, as, or with our Web page graphics. I guess they really know which buttons to press!

FONT: Cowboy Clips [50k]    
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GnomeDesktop
I'd like to welcome everyone to the first annual Rodeo Clown Convention. I trust everyone brought their grease paint and padded barrels? Good. Our first order of business is: World Domination. It's time to stop goofing off, gang. We've been ridiculed by too many folks, gored by too many bulls, and had our big floppy pants pulled down one too many times. It's time to take a stand. So, don your cowboy hats, grab your squirt guns, and let's show this world that we mean business. First, we should take some hostages. We'll rendezvous at the college around 0900. We're going to make the world safe for clowning.

FONT: Dippex [65k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
With a big chip in one hand, and dip on the table, what do you do if there's too much chip after the first dip? Think twice before sending the snack back. Double dipping is okay when you're with a significant other. But when you're among friends, the polite thing to do is to only dip once. Nobody wants your cooties. I've seen innocent double-dipping incidents turn into all-out dip wars. French onion, ranch, garlic, salsa, and chives were covering the walls.

FONT: Distant Galaxy [99k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Since I don't want anyone to get in trouble for copyright infringement, I can't directly tell you the movie titles where this font can be found. Here are a few clues: wrinkled Muppets, an upcoming "Ghost Annoyance" movie which isn't that far, far away, and... George Lucas. Distant Galaxy is the ultimate font set of its kind--complete with an easy way to connect letters to one another. The Rebel & Imperial insignias are also included (as dingbat characters). May the fonts be with you... and if they're not, then download them immediately.

FONT: Dolphins [3k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Flipper wasn't your run-of-the-mill television star; his life had a porpoise. They're known to be one of the more intelligent mammals, but this dolphin used more than just his blow hole. Before heading off to college, Flipper built a radio receiver into his dorsal fin. His plans for adding a complimentary thoracic transmitter were put on hold as the show started its run. While it's pure speculation, our friend could have started some waves.

FONT: DS Motter Ho [38k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
If there's a font face I'd expect to see on a 1970's breakfast bar marquis, DS Motter Ho is it. It seems to mock the institution of bacon and eggs ever so perniciously; I would throw yolk upon it if the subtle castigation would end. Oh, and the way it woos the napkins off the table--that's a treat for any Sunday morning. It'll strip the non-dairy right out of your creamer and make your toast soggy. No sir, this is not a font which should be trusted with a fork.

FONT: Eightface Adlock [296k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
The Gnome isn't here, Mrs. Torrance. Sorry, Timmy just told me to write that. Who is Timmy? My imaginary friend. He tells me things; bad things. He tells me to test the waffle iron with my face and to make toast in the bathtub. He says my Desktop is haunted with the ghosts of files past and only I can see them. What else does Timmy know? Where does he come from? And why am I suddenly thirsty for red rum? I'm trying to shine a light on the situation to figure it all out. Maybe those little twin girls in the hallway can help me. They say they want me to come and play with them. Where's Johnny?

FONT: El Hombre [28k] [38k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
My high school Spanish teacher was an odd character; he demanded that we call him 'Burrito' if we interacted with him outside the classroom. Supposedly, whenever there was a half moon outside, he could be seen on the streets... tempting passing motorists by throwing beans at them. One night, somebody walked into the grocery store and dumped all the canned foods on the floor. Burrito was framed for the crime, but to this day, nobody knows who really spilled the beans.

FONT: Electronics [43k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
This is one of the coolest Dingbat fonts I've ever seen (and used). 'Electronics' includes tech company symbols/icons in an easy-to-use TTF format (which means you can insert any one of them into documents, rather than having to find or use actual graphics). Some of the more well known companies represented are: Fuji, Toshiba, 3M, Kodak, Sanyo, Xerox, Maxell, Sony, IBM... the list goes on (under a complete character set). It's electric!

FONT: FaceType [28k]     Download font     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Adults used to tell us not to make funny faces, else one day a strange expression would permanently stick without warning. I guess I'm walking proof that it can happen. My entire fourth grade year was spent with my eyelids flipped over, my bottom lip crooked to the side, my tongue up my nose, and my ear lobes flipped up. Talk about a school picture that I'd rather not see again. Luckily, by the time junior high rolled around, my ears went back to normal

FONT: Fancy Hats [102k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Wacky-but-true Chris Pirillo Story #13: my family went to church (religiously) every Sunday (that's not the wacky part). It was just my mother and myself one day; we were sitting in one of the front rows and listening to the sermon. She was wearing a hat, and I had always been taught that you shouldn't wear hats in church. Being the ever-so-wise child, I yanked the chapeau off her head. I don't know what possessed me (perhaps it was Satan). For doing this, I received one complementary smack. I learned a new phrase that day: double standard.

FONT: Fargas [14k]     Download font     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Have you ever been to an amusement park? You haven't lived until you've been in a house of mirrors. One minute you appear tall and lanky, another minute you look like a Munchkin. Oh wait... that's a regular mirror! I would never want to trip in a mirror maze; the domino effect could create bad luck for the next fourteen centuries. Could you imagine being stuck inside an amusement park for that long? It would stop being amusing after the third hour. Enough cotton candy already!

FONT: Finnish Rock Paintings [10k]     Download font     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Call it a sudden need to express myself, but I bought three gallons of neon paint and turned my computer into a work of modern art. I mean, this monochromatic monitor and keyboard was driving me insane; I just had to add a little splash of color. Except, now the keyboard isn't working and I can't see the monitor. Well, nothing a little bath in turpentine can't fix. That would be for the computer -- not for me. I don't recommend bathing in turpentine to anyone. Maybe I've been working for too long; this paint is water-based after all. I think next week I'm going to tie dye my scanner. The manual says it can handle lots of colors.

FONT: Flakes [56k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I was talking to someone the other day and she mentioned that she had never actually seen a real "live" snowman before. Yes, I realize I could be politically correct and call it a snowperson, but it just doesn't sound right that way. I thought about making one, taking a picture, and then showing y'all--but that wouldn't do it justice. Too bad snowflakes don't fall in everybody's neighborhood. Imagine all the driveways you'd have to shovel... nevermind.

Fonts Anon~     Visit Fonts Anonymous

GnomeDESKTOP
Some people are addicted to those little chocolate cookies with "the white stuff". Others have the need for nicotine. Then, there are those of us who are seriously addicted to downloading the coolest-looking fonts. Now there's a place where you can gather with your peers and admit that you're a fontaholic. I've been "faceless" for about three hours now... which is a major accomplishment. If you have a website, and you're a font maniac, join the rest of us! Unsure of your fontaholicism? Check out the A-Z list immediately. There's no cure.

FONT: FoxScript [32k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
At last, Gretchen's watched every 'X-Files' episode. Her motivation? David Duchovny. And here I thought that she was a big sci-fi freak. Turns out, she's just a freak. I should have known when she started cutting out magazine pictures and gluing them to the ceiling above our bed. I suppose that wouldn't bother me too much if she gave equal space to Gillian Anderson. Just my luck, she doesn't like redheads... and besides, they don't go with the decor.

FONT: Freemason [65k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Lockergnomie Max Raven boosted my entertainment center into the '90s a few weeks back, but Gretchen's been afraid to explore the "full capabilities" of it. You see, we're in an apartment--the walls are thick, but she doesn't want to upset our neighbors. Well, when she's at work, I crank up the volume (and yank off the knob). I figured if anyone complains, I'll just bake some cookies and leave them at their doorstep. Sorry, I just can't help myself with this thing, man. One day I'll hook it up to Mr. Bigglesworth and play a game or two.

FONT: Freon [7k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Summer is almost upon us, and when we need to travel great distances, we shall rely heavily upon our car's air conditioner. But new autos don't use freon to cool, apparently--it's dangerous to the environment. I'm not a 'tree hugger' by any stretch of the imagination, but I think we should respect the planet which lies beneath us. After all, if it weren't there, we'd be... floating around somewhere. Anyway, this font works great in the Windows Title Bar!

FONTS: Gemfonts Christmas Dingbats [130k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Pull out the Egg Nog and start roasting those chestnuts, these dingbats are perfect! Oh, before I tell you any more, I have to mention that Des Moines, Iowa is supposedly the Egg Nog capital of the world. That, and I actually had some roasted chestnuts the other night (I wasn't terribly impressed--they were too mushy). Anyway, back to the Christmas dingbats review. You'll love 'em... especially if you can't find the right Holiday graphics for your greeting cards.

FONT: Gilligan's Island [24k]     Download font     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, the tale of a kick-byte font... if you can hear the music in your head, then you're ready to have this font on your PC. When you use it for the first time, type out "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND" in all caps, and that's how the lettering appeared on the world-famous show. Amazing! what's next? I want a Mary Ann font. With big coconuts...

FONT: Glory [100k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Triangles are an important part of my life. A day just isn't a day without interacting with at least one triangle. When I'm driving, it's the Yield sign. When I'm watching TV, it's the tube... wait, that's more like a rectangle. If you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the left, however, it kinda looks like a triangle. Well, at least these font characters won't let me down. They're definitely triangular.

FONT: Handyman's Special [60k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I've learned so much about owning a home in the past few weeks. Here are some helpful tips I've picked up along the way: the brighter the carpet, the more stains will show through; never stick your screwdriver into a 'live' socket; you can lick the connectors on a 9-volt battery to see if it's still good; use toothpaste to fill up nail holes, but don't use mouthwash; if you smell gas, get out before you pass out; speak softly and carry a really big hammer.

FONT: Hearts by Darrian [125k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
In college, I used to write rather rude sayings on the backs of my Valentine's Day cards. Of course, I'd only give them to close friends; they understood my warped sense of humor. Before Gretchen and I were in a relationship, we were friends. She took my off-the-wall Valentine's comment to heart; the card said something along the lines of "I can't stand being around you." I told her the card and comment were randomly chosen, but she didn't believe me. She was upset at me for months because of that single sentence. And now we're married.

FONT: Hong's 2 Dings [93k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Drawing outside the lines isn't my modus operandi. While I was still a child, however, I used to scribble pictures on the walls with crayons. This habit didn't go over too well with my grandmother. If only I could have been a caveman; I would have fit right in. Nowadays, I don't draw much. Instead, I rely on dingbats to get me through the day. There's an image for just about every occasion. Hey, is that a blank wall I see? Let me grab my periwinkle...

FONT: Holy Ravioli [14k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
I haven't had pasta for a few months now (well, actually, I had a small bit at the Ohana Steakhouse here in Des Moines on Valentine's Day). I can't say I miss the stuff all that much... I'll probably get my "Italian license" revoked for saying that, but honestly--pasta has no taste when you eat it by itself. Here's another interesting bit of useless trivia: I attended Holy Ravioli grade school as a kid. It was run by Sister Margaret Mary Mostaccioli and Father Francois Fettuccini. We had spaghetti for lunch... every damn day.

FONT: Horse Puke [45k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
A four-legged friend was feeling sick, and the moment was captured in this font. I suppose you'd have to ride in circles all day long before your horse would upchuck. I suppose you could expedite the process by hooking up a keg of beer to its water trough. Honestly, the actual face isn't what prompted me to feature this font. Just look at that name! Who wouldn't be shocked if they saw horse puke among their list of fonts? "Happy Man... Helvetica... Horse Puke!?" Is it disgusting? Well, yes... but a little bit of barf never hurt anyone. NOTE: horses can't chunder.

FONT: IHOP [26k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Pancakes, waffles, or flapjacks. No matter how you serve them up, there aren't many food items that are loved by so many. So loved, in fact, that someone created an entire chain of restaurants for serving only those particular products. It's not like investors are tossing out cash to start International Houses of Carrots or an International Houses of Chicken Soup. No... one has to pick these comestibles carefully. I'm sure the idea for IHOP occurred to someone in a dream. There he was, eating a giant syrup-covered breakfast staple... and when he woke up, his blanket was missing. Coincidence?

J...

!

FONT: Leger Light [10k]     Download file    

GnomeDESKTOP
In high school, Geometry was just about as confusing as Algebra. Sure, it started out simple. "This is a circle. This is a line. This is a segment." Then we were blindsided with proofs -- with all their theorems and postulates. "Prove that the area of circle A is equal to the area in polygon D." I always had one answer (that never seemed to work): GIVEN. If there was ever a font face that reminded me of this geometrical nightmare, then Leger Light is it.

FONT: Less Than Six [23k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Today's lesson will focus on the differences between 'fixed pitch' and 'variable width' fonts. Download this small set and you'll get an example of both. When each character takes up the same amount of horizontal space, it's a 'fixed pitch' face. 'Courier New' or 'Lucida Console' are good examples. I highly recommend using these types of fonts in your e-mail client and newsreader. Conversely, when each character takes up a different amount of horizontal space, it's a 'variable width' face. Uniformity isn't always necessary.

FONT: Loki Cola     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
I really don't miss drinking "pop" as much as I thought I would. Cutting out 99% of my daily sugar intake was the best thing I could ever do for my health. Now I just grab a can of carbonated water, mix it with some real whipped cream (not the store-bought stuff), sprinkle in some nutmeg, add a dash of vanilla extract, mix it thoroughly, and I've got (what I believe to be) a pretty fantastic drink. I suppose I'll call it a Lockergnome Cola... no Nutrisweet for me, thank you very much.

FONT: Loony [35k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Looks like someone was cooking spaghetti around here. Man, I used to eat that stuff a couple times every week. Ever been to J. Benjamin's here in Des Moines (Iowa)? HOLY COW! Not only are their pasta dishes top notch, but ya gotta try the steak DeBurgo. I don't eat pasta much anymore (carbohydrates), but sometimes I make an exception when we go to J. Benjamin's. We like 'em so much, we had them cater our wedding reception. Of course, my heritage is Italian--so I'm supposed to like that stuff.

FONT: Madfont [44k]     Download file    Download file

GnomeDESKTOP
It's time for everybody's favorite e-mail newsletter: Schlockergnome! With your host, Chris Pillmellow. Today, he's featuring a parody font that'll drive you insane. Or, should we say: MAD! Definitely not approved by Alfred E. Neuman, the Madfont was designed to make your Desktop delightfully delirious. Put down that comical magazine and start creating some crazy content.
NOTE: don't attempt to fold the back cover of this issue; it's completely electronic.

Not a large selection, but nice - Paul

FONT: Medulla Oblongata [20k]    

GnomeDESKTOP
The brain is a funny thing if you think about it. Of course, if you think about thinking about the brain being a funny thing, it's almost like you're saying to yourself: "why am I such a funny thing? I wonder if it has something to do with my Medulla Oblongata?" This phrase was made popular in Adam Sandler's latest movie, "The Waterboy" (a motion picture which I have yet to experience). Well, even if you don't like thinking about Adam Sandler, I believe you'll see this font as the child of Martha Stewart and Charles Manson.

FONT: Mickey Mousebats [47k]     Download file     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Who's the sender of your mail that's made for you and me? L-O-C-K-E-R-G-N-O-M-E! I couldn't quit while I was ahead -- I just had to make something with a tail. This Pirillo-made font puts a mouse in the house, although he's kinda lookin' like a dingbat. Since my dad loves Mickey, I figured other people on the planet would love him, too. It's a small world, after all. Some wacky fowl kept trying to thwart my creative efforts, but the duck stopped there.

FONT: Mikroprepeia [11k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I was an American male teenager, which means, at one point during my pubescence, I dreamed of being in a rock & roll band. Of course, I was missing a few things... like musical instruments... and talent. So, I just made up rock band names on the back of my spiral notebooks: Puke 2 Death, Radioactive Hamsters, The Living Quilt, Bea Arthur's Nightmare, et al. I had to write everything in a funky style, so they wouldn't be confused with Western Civ notes.

FONT: MillionAir [17k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
(Sorry, I appear to have lost Chris's text! - Paul)

FONT: Misfit [13k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
I don't want to be a dentist, and I'm not an elf by any stretch of the imagination. I've always tried to do things differently, although I haven't always succeeded (sometimes I need to be normal). It was more difficult to be "weird" when I was younger. I really don't care that much about how "popular" I am nowadays. Of course, I wasn't that popular in the first place--so not much has changed. Do everyone a favor and just be yourself? Who cares if they think you don't belong. You do!

FONT: Mistwetter [5k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Rain showers are tolerable, as long as you don't mind getting wet. At least during these months in the Midwest, water doesn't stay on the ground for too long (unlike its colder counterparts, snow and ice). I used to fool my wife into believing that we had more precipitation than normal; she swears by that rain gauge. Just take a cup of water and... pour away. I never carry an umbrella or don galoshes. I'm not a wicked witch; I won't melt.

FONT: MoFo [9k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Have you been on EDGE lately? Not quite getting the POINT? Eating too much SHARP cheddar? Okay, now go back to those first three sentences and you'll find three words which perfectly describe this font. Go ahead, I'll wait for you. Done yet? If you didn't get them by now, they were: lately, quite, and cheddar. It's not a cheesy font, but I'm sure you'll find its aroma palatable. I wouldn't suggest leaving it out of the refrigerator for too long though. It might go bad... a bad mofo.

FONT: Monopolybats [147k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
You can lose at checkers and it's usually no big deal. So why does a game of Monopoly bring out the worst in people? Because it's not a matter of win or lose... you lose in a BIG way and someone else owns your sorry butt. "You landed on Boardwalk... you owe me your life savings, your first born child, and a Snickers bar." You could always be the person who owns those sweet properties, but that takes a little bit of luck (or tactical genius). Do not download Go, do not collect $200.

FONTS: Moonlight Designs Dingbats    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I considered featuring just the 'School Time' dingbats, but I knew that students wouldn't appreciate them. Then I thought that the 'Fishing Anyone' dingbat would have made a nice feature... until I remembered that I get squeamish when it comes to putting worms on hooks. 'Trucks for Judy' is nice, but not everybody likes those kinds of vehicles. 'Western' would appeal to people who like big belt buckles, but not to those of us who like loud music. Ah, just download whatever you like here.

FONT: MovieTimes [17k]
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GnomeDESKTOP
Who doesn't like movies? Haven't you always wanted to be in one? I've been in a few amateur films; you may have seen the critically disdained 'Iron Aces II: Dependence Day' (released last winter). I played the president of the United States. There's even talk about an Iron Aces III, wherein I'll reprise my role as the commander in chief. It's being directed by fellow Lockergnomie (and former roomie), Eric Myszka. Oh, to have friends in high places.

FONT: Nasal [156k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
T-minus ten seconds 'til you should download the ultimate space-age font. Nine... eight... seven... it looks like the lettering you see on official NASA products, so now you can create your own NASA-lized logos and buttons. Six... five... four... trick your friends into believing that you actually have authorization from the NASA space program to use their font on your computer. Three... two... one... DOWNLOAD!

FONT: Nocker [15k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
What tickles your fancy? Or is your fancy even ticklish in the first place? I suppose I shouldn't even ask that kind of question, but inquiring minds wanna know. I've never been one to dress up in fancy clothes--give me a tee shirt and I'll be happy forever. Nocker is very much an anti-flannel font. You'd most likely see it dressed up in a tuxedo... hanging around the punch bowl at all the big parties. Oh, and it would drink its tea with a pinky extended. Quite annoying. Quite.

FONT: Oh Mega Sigh [6k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Omega Psi... to tell you the truth, this font doesn't look all that Greek. More like, hrm... Luxembourgish. Yes, I suppose if I had to match this face with a country, I'd pick Luxembourg. Why? Well, I'll tell you why! Because... the... letters are... small, fat, and virtually indistinguishable from one another. Just like the trees in Luxembourg. I'm also reminded of the time I spent as a child in Vancouver. I was... oh, I don't know. I'm just making this up as I go along.

FONT: Pants [17k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
A Lockergnomie recently asked a mutual friend (Shaun Shulba) what it was like to work with me. Well folks, I put my pants on one leg at a time. I have no idea what that means, but my mom used to say that when I'd talk about popular people. Apparently, everybody wears pants. My pants are getting too big for me... perhaps I should try walking a mile in your shoes. Or better yet, wear your pants. No, that's getting way too personal. We'll have to get to know each other a little better before we start swapping clothes.

FONT: Parksymbol [35k]     Download file     Visit Sparkytype

GnomeDESKTOP
Signs, signs -- everywhere. Why isn't there one for short-haired freaky people? For the guardians of truth, justice, and the technological way? Keepers of the flame, masters of the flashlight. No, we have signs for fishing, camping, boating... but nothing for Internet kiosks. When will we rise up and establish a modem pool marker? When we must travel, we must remain plugged in. For to be left without an Internet connection for too long would be tragic.

FONT: Patchanka [30k]     Download file     Visit Sparkytype

GnomeDESKTOP
Gesture for the jester! Lo, there are none to be found. Every font class has a clown; someone's gotta lighten the mood. Sometimes straight, sometimes silly... you never know what will happen next. Call it a bit of random predictability. There was once a storyteller who loved spinning yarns about bowling balls. One manuscript's dedication was lost for centuries, but I know for whom the tale bowls. Is someone keeping score here? I left the curling iron on.

FONT: Physics [26k]     Visit Fontaddict - It's brilliant! (P.A.)

GnomeDESKTOP
Speaking of high school, I remember dreading Physics class like none other. I loved the teacher, and, to a certain degree, I found the subject interesting. However, putting "math & me" together is like pouring fourteen tons of battery acid directly into your eye sockets. It ain't pretty. In fact, it's downright disgusting on all levels. I don't care how gravity works--I'm just happy it does.

FONT: Pika Pika [48k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Childhood collection fads come and go. I've got the entire 'Garbage Pail Kids' collection sitting here. You may know that 'Beanie Babies' have sprouted (and consequently withered). Now, society is being plagued with some gang called the poking men? I have no idea who this guy is, but all I have to say is: he better not poke me. One such poking man has a nasty addiction to tobacco; apparently, he decided to pick a chew? C'mon folks -- get culturally literate.

FONT: Pirates [168k]    
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Visit Font Freak's site

GnomeDESKTOP
Arrrrgh. I've never sailed the seven seas before, but I've drunken me some fourteen zillion gallons of water. In my eyes, that makes me a pirate. Well, coupled with the fact that I have two peg legs, one peg arm, an eye patch, an ear patch, a parrot, and a big loopy earring. But, I don't wear the loopy earring anymore because the piercing got infected. It hurt a lot. And the last person you wanna cross is a pirate in pain. Shiver me timbers... what the heck does that mean, anyway?

FONT: Polywog [32k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
As children, we used to capture and keep frogs in sealed jars. They were a dime a dozen on my block, but I'll never forget Aloysius. He granted me three wishes if I promised to set him free. I was only eight at the time, so my wishes weren't very impressive. First, I wished that I would make it through grade school without getting beat up. Then, I wished that I could stay up an hour later on weeknights. Finally, I wished for a big glass of water (I was thirsty). DOH!

FONT: Pumpkin [13k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Halloween is just around the corner, when all the li'l pagans don their scary costumes and wait eagerly for the candy binge to commence. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a little creative this year... so I'm considering carving seedless grapes instead of pumpkins. All I need is a tiny scalpel. I'll have the scariest grapes on my block; each one with a tiny candle inside. I knew there was a reason I left those lights up from last Christmas. Next year, I think I'll take a stab at carrot carving; the year after that, it's Spaghetti-O-Lanterns for me. What can I say, I love to challenge myself. As long as I don't run out of fingertips, I'll be fine.

FONT: Puppins [106k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Gretchen & I are the youngest folks on our block. The neighbors always seem to be doing one of the following things: taking care of their lawn or walking their dog. Rest assured, this house will have a pooch before year's end. We'll most likely adopt from a shelter when the time comes--although I've got my heart set on a standard or giant schnauzer. Life is a little 'ruff' without a dog, but we've managed. At least for now our carpets are safe!

!

FONT: Radioactive Roman [43k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
What do you get when you cross Julius Caesar with a barrel of toxic waste? That's a rhetorical question, gang; just look at the name of this font and you'll have your answer. It's not the brightest answer, but imagine a glowing emperor strolling down the road in the middle of the night accompanied by a few aqua ducks. Sounds like a super hero to me. Jimminy Jillikers! I've said that phrase so much, the words have lost all meaning. One of these days, I'll find a sidekick, too...

FONT: Reckoning [8k]     Download file     Visit Squaresville

GnomeDESKTOP
Time to travel down to the mailbox to see what my postal carrier has delivered today. Ah, a magazine I'll never read, a bill, another bill, yet another bill, and something that doesn't look like a bill (but probably is). The day of reckoning is upon me. I knew the authorities would catch on sooner or later; I shouldn't have maxed out my credit cards at the Ice Cream Barn. Oh, but the sweet smell of chocolate peanut butter fudge and rum raisin had my head spinning.

FONT: Reveal Icons     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
If you're looking for killer Dingbats, look no further. Each font in this archive is still under development, but what has been completed thus far is nothing short of outstanding. The author has taken system (and common program) icons and put them into TTF format. Which means you can use them in your graphics editor to manipulate as you see fit! No more pixelization when you want to "enlarge" those 32x32 pixel wonders. This is one of those "must have" sets--I'm sure you can find a use for it.

FONT: Ruffian Outline [35k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
I don't know if I was a real troublemaker as a kid. Sure, I got punished every once in a while, but it was for really stupid things that I did. I wasn't so much a ruffian... more like an annoying rebel. For instance, I used to play "made up" card games with my younger brothers to cheat them out of their possessions. Yah, I know... I was a jerk. HEY! I was a kid, for goodness sake! I'm sure we all did stupid things when we were younger. It's good to know that adulthood is more forgiving. Right?

FONT: Running With Scissors [6k]     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Mothers are wonderful creatures, although no two are created alike. There are some who prefer to prepare four course meals on a nightly basis and others who can't even make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But without them, you wouldn't be reading this message (somebody had to give birth to ya). I suppose that's reason enough for me to put up with her momisms: don't talk with your mouth full, get your finger out of your nose, it's not polite to point.

FONT: Ruritania [208k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Are you ready for your bedtime story? In the days of old, Gnomes ruled the lockers of the Earth. Then, a wicked king came to power and decreed that all such creatures should henceforth be known as "Vertically Challenged" people. This news hit hard, and many Locker Gnomes went into hiding. Only after decades of enduring persecution were they wise enough to crash the evil king's computer. They've been the world's geekiest Gnomes ever since. The end.

FONT: SansFractions [49k] [60k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
"Six of one, half a dozen of the other." I never quite understood that maxim until my mom showed me a carton of eggs. She removed six, and left the other half there. "It's the same thing." Well, not really. I mean, each egg is an individual. "Yeah, but there are six inside and six outside the carton." Is that the point? "Of course it's the point." You're confusing me. Is this the new math everyone keeps talking about? "No. Remember learning about fractions in school?" On the whole, yes.

FONT: Schriftverkehr [33k]     Download file     Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Mom had a calligraphy beginner's kit, but I'm not sure she used it all that much. For a while, she signed her checks with fancy strokes and brown ink. She'd decorate our lunch sacks with decorative lettering and stencils at times. After the novelty wore off, it was back to ball point. I tried to forge my mother's signature once; it didn't work. She was bound to find out about the failing grade eventually; I was just trying to postpone the inevitable.

FONT: Senor Pooglins [60k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I read the author's review of this typeface and one word stood out: Iowa! Apparently, he's a "local". Remember, just because someone lives in the Midwest doesn't automatically mean that I know him/her. Sometimes people ask: "You're from Iowa? Do you know Bob?" Uh... sure. I know about 27 Bobs. You're from Mexico... do you know Senor Pooglins? His creator is quite an accomplished font master--if you have time, be sure to check out the other faces Ben Balvanz has done. They're unique--so you'll wanna nique up on them.

FONT: Ships [19k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I've never gotten seasick from looking at a font before, but there's a first time for everything, I suppose. Don't set sail without sending this sucker to the font 'brig.' Who knows when software pirates will attack? As a hobby, have you ever tried to build a ship in a bottle? It probably wasn't easy. Let me tell you: inserting a classical sea-faring ship dingbat into a document is much easier (and a lot less messy). Methinks I see a mermaid o'er there!

FONT: Silkscreen [23k] http://www.kottke.org/plus/type/silkscreen/download/silkscreen.zip http://www.kottke.org/plus/type/silkscreen/ Bigger is better. But if you believe that, then you're bound to be in trouble one of these days. There's a diner in Ames (Iowa) that serves one of the world's largest ice cream sundaes (with all the trimmings); if you can eat the entire thing in one sitting, you get it for free. Sorry, but one scoop does it for me. I don't think small, yet when I went out in search of the world's smallest font, I found it. Squint, and the whole world squints with you.

FONT: Sischu [50k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
My creative juices just aren't flowing tonight (must have something to do with the weather). They say winter is supposed to be more depressing, but to tell you the truth, I find it one of the more comforting seasons. There are no thunderstorms, which makes Mr. Bigglesworth extremely happy. And when Mr. Bigglesworth's happy, I'm happy. Besides, I hate it when the worms come out of the ground after it rains... they smell funny and I hate stepping on them. Give me snowflakes any day...

FONT: Sloppy Classic [61k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
Ever notice how they try to get us to buy the same junk we grew tired of years ago by re-releasing it as a 'classic' nostalgia item? Yes, it may look like that old 'Hi-Ho Cherry-O' game you never played when you were little, but this is 'Classic Hi-Ho Cherry-O' with a silver box. Whoa, I better camp outside K-Mart and beat the rush. I'll curl up in my 'classic' Snorks sleeping bag inside my 'classic' Smurfs tent and dream some 'classic' Scooby dreams while I wait for the store to open. Hey, don't laugh; this could be a collector's item someday. I'm not even going to take the packaging off of mine. What? And let the value go down? Don't be daft.

FONT: Snot [74k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Okay, I realize I've lept into the realm of bad taste here, but 'tis the season to be sneezing. Ah... AH... AH-KERSPLAT! Ewww, sorry about that. It'll come right out with a little soap and water. NO! Don't rub it in--that'll make it worse. Let me get some tissue paper. WAIT! Ya know, if you squint your eyes and tilt your head like so, it kinda looks like Abraham Lincoln! "The power of a booger is amazing. Had this been an actual nose goblin emergency, you would have been instructed to run away... fast."

FONT: Snowbiz [33k]     Download file    Visit site

GnomeDESKTOP
We didn't get enough snow last year to build a proper snowman. Er, snowperson if you wanna be politically correct about it. Gretchen and I were content with constructing a couple of snowballs. Er, snowspheres if you wanna be politically correct about it. Sprocket just frolicked in the fallen flakes; I'm sure he wondered to himself as he flew through the powder: "Arf woof woof woof grrrrrr arf." Er, *BARK* if you wanna be politically correct about it.

*** SOME NICE FONTS HERE *** (Paul)

FONT: SouthBats [13k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Most of you know me for writing this newsletter, but years ago, I designed icons for people. That wasn't a very lucrative business, but I had a lot of fun. One of my most popular icon sets is from the cartoon "South Park" (believe it or not). If you've ever seen those 32x32 wonders floating around on the web, yours truly was (most likely) their creator. Well, along came a font designer who put some of those icons into TTF format. Awesome! This is the most beefcakey font I've ever seen. Mr. Hankey not included (yet).

FONT: Stick Letter [51k]     Download file     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
Am I the only one who has feelings towards certain letters of the alphabet? 'J' always annoyed me for some reason; ya know, he's got that little tail thing shooting up and to the left. C'mon; what's up with that? 'T' has always been a spectacular example of what a letter should be; no dots, no curves... just right angles. I've always been indifferent towards 'I' only because his ego seemed over-inflated to begin with. Don't play with the 'Q' too much.

FONT: StilettoSilver [56k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
The only reason I liked Algebra in high school was because we got to use graph paper. Of course, I never actually used it for completing my assignments. I was too busy creating "string art" designs and other wacky things. If there was a font that could emulate string art, StilettoSilver is it. I can guarantee that it'll be one of the most original fonts you'll ever own.

FONT: Summer [70k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
We experienced wonderful weather while we were in San Francisco; coming back to Iowa was a rude awakening. I almost forgot that it was the middle of summer! And it's true: the humidity is worse than the heat. The sun is such a cruel creature; it gives life, but it also burns the skin. You don't need to waste your money on a sauna out here--just walk outside. I'm getting hungry... perhaps I should fry an egg on the sidewalk? That should help save money on my energy bill.

FONT: Swabba [19k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I hear older generations say that with all this technology around, kids have no imagination left. But I have to ask: isn't that a GOOD thing? If I had a PC in front of me as a child, there's no way I would have gotten in trouble half the time. We had to invent games just to keep from bouncing off the walls, and needless to say, our parents didn't agree with all of our ideas. Once, I took this Bingo dabber and decorated my brothers' faces. NOTE: don't do that right before church.

FONT: Swirled [37k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I went to a bakery the other day and saw a couple different loaves of bread. One was regular rye, and the other was marble rye. Being a curious sort, I asked what the difference between the two were. The attendant told me that one was swirled and the other wasn't. Well, duh! But why was one $2.00 more than the other? Did it taste different? No. Did it do something special? No. Was it baked by a world-famous baker? Not hardly. It had swirls--so it was "worth" $2.00 more. Not in MY book.

FONTS: Symbolic Dingbats     Visit site    

GnomeDESKTOP
I thought of four people when I visited this site. When I saw the Braille fonts, I thought of Michael Lauf--the excellent host of HandiTalk. When I saw the Guitar Tabs font, I thought of Ryan Rieck--my headbanging, college chum. When I saw the sign language font, I thought of my Aunt Mary--who translates for the hearing impaired. When I saw the phonetic font, I remembered sitting in the back of a Linguistics class with a friend and tormenting the professor. Take a trip down memory lane for yourself.

FONT: TokyoSoft [5k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
It's great having Shaun as a partner; he speaks Japanese fairly well. But remember, he's Canadian, so every sentence ends in the same way, eh? Every once in a while, I'll pick up the phone and he'll be in 'foreign' mode. It really freaks people out when he pulls this routine in a crowded elevator. I love seeing the "Who said that?" look on riders' faces. We'll go out to restaurants and he'll have me act as a translator. And I thought I was strange?

FONT: Tommy Hilfiger AF [76k]     Visit Abstract Fonts site

GnomeDESKTOP
Here's another fantastic fashion trend in which I have yet to partake. Style has never been in my personal vocabulary. One of my younger brothers climbed aboard every possible pop culture wave when we were kids. He was the first on our block to have parachute pants, though he never wore a zipper jacket. Of course, nowadays, he wears baggy pants and claims to be part of the counter-culture. You know, this 'Generation X' everybody keeps talking about.

FONT: TwisterD [26k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
We've already had our first big tornado attack this year in Iowa (nothing compared to what Oklahoma had a few weeks ago). I was frightened, but very prepared... and there's no excuse why you shouldn't be, too. Planning ahead could very well save your life! Think about this poor font for a second. It used to look a lot like Arial... then someone left it out in the middle of a severe thunderstorm. Blammo! Oh sure, it's still legible... but it's not the same. I think I hear the sirens blaring as I write this--better get to the basement!

FONT: Ty Babies [18k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
I've been staying up late lately, racking my brain. I need a way to earn some quick money. Then, it hit me like a freight train; a fool proof plan to make a ton of money. What I discovered was a way to cash in on this whole Beanie Baby craze. No, not by making Gnomie Babies. You see, I'm going to buy up all of the beans they use to stuff the Beanie Babies. Now, whenever anyone wants to create a new Beanie Baby, they'll have to go through me. Yeah, I know, I'm an entrepreneurial genius. What can I say? It's a gift. Perhaps Gnomie babies wouldn't be all that silly after all? Would you buy one?

FONTS: Typewriter     Visit Site   

GnomeDESKTOP
I can't imagine what it was like before all keyboarding classes were done on computers. What am I saying!? I learned how to type on antiquated machines which caused more noise pollution than your average mufflerless car. CLACK CLACK TACK CHA-CHUNGITA! Those were absolute beasts, man. And, in case you've never had the opportunity to use one of them, here are a handful of fonts which appear as though they were done directly on typewriters. Some faces are clean, some are very much not so.

FONT: Ultraworld [7k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
Who wouldn't want to live in an ultraworld--where there was nothing to worry about. The problem is: everybody's definition of perfection is different; what's ultra to me is definitely not ultra to you. See, I like green olives, but you may not. In my ultraworld, there would be green olives at every meal. Imagine eating that "Bran Buster" cereal with pimentos! And, of course, you'd have to sprinkle some olives on your cheesecake, too. Mmm... that's pretty wicked stuff. Don't try this at home.

FONT: Vanishing Boy [15k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
I haven't seen my imaginary friend in weeks. Although, he isn't really imaginary... to me. We still get together for lunches, just like we did in Kindergarten. This may sound bad, but I can't tell you his name. If I said it aloud, he'd disappear forever. One thing I can relay: he's an overactive imaginary friend--always getting himself into trouble. He's never in the way, and he never bothers me when I'm busy. Don't tell my wife that he still hangs with me... she's jealous.

FONT: Viney Times [28k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
I think there's something wrong with a house down the street; it's been dominated by vines! Sure, a few feet of those crawlers here and there never hurt, but this facade is completely covered. Just the other day, I saw it gobble up the mail carrier. Of course, it also nailed one of those pesky vacuum cleaner salespeople, too. I suppose it just goes to show you that when landscaping goes bad--it's downright evil. So, the next time you mow your lawn, why not do an extra-thorough job? You never know when those blades of grass will kill.

FONT: WeeHah [15k]     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
There's a railroad crossing in North Des Moines that sits atop a large hill; the two tracks sit on two small hills, no more than twenty feet apart. When you take them doing thirty-five MPH, it creates quite a sensation in your tummy. Being children of the '80s, we called them the 'Yee Hah' bumps -- which was the call of Bo & Luke Duke when they 'launched' the General Lee. If you're ever in town, ya gotta try it. Besides, there's not much else to do here.

FONT: X-spiralmental [36k]    
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GnomeDESKTOP
The scientists over at the McFontsy Institute of Higher Font Facing have come up with a new experiment. This time, they'd like to see if the spiraling shape will make you go insane. This dingbat carries with it several dangerous characters, although only one of them will make you go nuts. I hope you'll be cashewed, braziled, or almonded, because those are my favorites. Make sure you're salted, too. Look at all the pretty shapes... they're so mesmerizing.

FONT: Yankobats [52k]     Download font     Visit Site

GnomeDESKTOP
When I started playing on the Internet a few years ago, I was thrilled to discover that one of my favorite bands had an Internet presence. Years later, thanks in part to my fan page, I was able to interact with members of Weird Al's band. What better way to immortalize one of the world's biggest parody artists than through a font? Al's a dingbat, and now he's... a dingbat. That guy's gotta be the funniest 'geek' I know. It's all about the Pentiums, baby.

!