« My book reviews for 2003 »

Reviews : May to Dec 2003

XHTM for Dummies   by Ed Tittel, Chelsea Valentine and Natanya Pitts
  ...  ©2000 [ www.idgbooks.com] IDG Books Worldwide, Inc : ISBN 0-7645-0751-6

HTML is dead, long live XHTML!
Actually HTML is active and kicking on a trillion web pages, but it is getting long in the tooth.
What can I say, it's a "for Dummies" book and as good as most of the others in the range. Highly recommeneded

Thraxas and the Dance of Death   © 2002 Martin Scott
  ...  Orbit Books: ISBN 1-84149-121-7

The hero, Thraxas, is a veretan soldier of reknown. Well, once, more commonly now he's a fat, drunk, (failed) sorcerous investigator.
His lackey, sidekick and heroine, Makri, is part Elf, part human, and part orc and has an extensive wardrobe of progressively skimpier chainmail clothes.
Told in the first person, I can't recommend it enough. It's hilarious. Reminiscent of Dougles Adams' Dirk and his holistic agency, but in a fantasy setting. Great stuff.
This tale has him following a trail of corpses as he tries to find a missing magical gem.

Check out the preceding novels too, I will be :

• Thraxas
• Thraxas and the Warrior Monks
• Thraxas at the Races
• Thraxas and the Elvish Isles
• Thraxas and the Dance of Death

Thraxas at War   © 2003 Martin Scott
  ...  Orbit Books: ISBN 1-84149-242-6

The saga continues with Thraxas trying to solve a murder, getting involved in politics and incidentally worrying about the imminent invasion by hoards of Orcs. Makri has troubles too as the Orcs are aided by a Half Orc Lich - who keeps sending her flowers and have her join him.
Love it!

X-Calibre - © 2000 by Mark F. Parker
The absurd legend of Cantiger the Wizard
  ...  Constable & Robinson Ltd.: ISBN 1-84119-106-X

I'll bite by lip and review this by saying, "Ummmm"
The good bit is that the hero is a greedy, selfish, spiteful bumbling coward of a incompetant mage. A number of the other characters and also refreshingly down to earth. Indeed, a few times I was sat chuckling to myself in my chair, but there again, I have a warped sense of humour!

Then the tail side with the sting, the base for this pizza has been taken out of a garbage can and never even wiped off. Bad enough to set my teeth on edge and want to go looking for the author with a baseball bat... There's too many inconsistances that I suspect are there on purpose which winds me up even further. As far as I can tell or guess, the story is set over one thousand years in the future after some hinted at virus that wiped out civilisation. Magic is real. The hero, Cantiger, is apparenty a gnome of sort's and his race, or he at any rate, was born old and grows younger as he ages until, presumably he's unborn, if such a thing can be. I remember that scenario from a Startrek episode and I never liked it then. Added to this are animals like auroch's, which where wiped out a few centuries ago.

It's kind of like a pot pouri of Arthurian legend, a generic fantasy and post apocalyptic future. The mix makes me twitch!

Overall, I can't say, but I'm strangely looking forward to the next episode...

Sams Reach Yourself SQL in 10 minutes - by Ben Forta.
Quick steps for fast results^™. Get the skills you need in just 10 minutes
  ...  © 2000 SAMS: ISBN 0-672-31664-1

Only actually got it to look over a query that I couldn't get my head round. Turned out the problem was VB and not the SQL, but still. Anyway, as a quick intro into SQL it's certainly worth looking at.

Warcraft #2 : Lord of the Clans - by Christie Golden
  ...   Simon and Schuster Pocket Books: ISBN 0-7434-2690-8   (© 2001 Blizzard Entertainment)

Based on the Warcraft game by Blizzard Entertainment this book essentially offers a look at the Orc, Thrall, from his birth through to the events covered in chapter one of the game.

I quite liked it myself as it gave me a new insight into the game. Certainly worth a look.

Similar novels also cover the first Warcraft game, Diablo and Starcraft.,

Reviews : Jan - April 2003

I can draw people - By Ray Gibson
  ...   Usborne Publishing Ltd.: ISBN 0-7460-3705-8

I can't draw to save my life, but if your kids have any artistic talent this will bring it out. It might even keep the little dears quieten a few days during the school holidays. Worth it for the quiet!

Here's the blurb off the back:

I can draw people has very clear step-by-step picture instructions which show exactly what to do. precise drawing is not required, so even young children will be able to achieve some delightful results using just crayons and felt-tip pens.

In essence it's just another draw a circle, draw a triangle, add hair affair, but the way in delivers the instructions is brilliant. I can honesty say I've never seen a better example and I thoroughly recommend you get a copy!

They also do a book called I can draw animals which I an going out in a minute to try and get. Safe bet it's just and valuable.

Blue Moon Rising - By Simon R. Green
  ...   [ www.orionbooks.co.uk ] Millenium Fantasy: ISBN 1-85798-987-2

What an excellent novel! The heroes are an aging Dragon who's hoard is a butterfly collection, a sarcastic Unicorn, a bad tempered princess and a cynical prince that rides said Unicorn! (Ahem).

The goblins that inevitably turn up in any most fantasy novels are actually characters rather than cannon fodder which is a nice change and you actually end up feeling sorry for the little guys when you hear their plight. If, like me you have a "funny sense as humour" as my mum puts it, this is as much a "must read" as any Terry Pratchett work. If nothing else you have to read this novel for the Dragon's flatulent episode in the crowded court room!

Here's a little extract from the start:

Steady! yelled the Prince.
The unicorn sniffed haughtily. It's all right for you up there, taking it easy; I'm the one who has to do all the work. That armour you're wearing weighs a ton. My back's killing me.
I've been in the saddle for three weeks, Rupert pointed out unsympathetically. It's not my back that's bothering me.
The unicorn sniggered, and then came to a sudden halt, almost spilling the Prince from his saddle. Rupert grabbed at the long, curlicued horn to keep his balance.
Why have we stopped? Trail getting too muddy, perhaps? Afraid your hooves will get dirty?
If you're going to be a laugh a minute you can get off and walk, snarled the unicorn. In case you hadn't noticed, there's a massive spider's web blocking the trail.

Beyond the Blue Moon - By Simon R. Green
  ...   Victor Gollanz / Millenium Fantasy: ISBN 0-575-06763-2 (Hardback)

The follow on story is set some twelve years on and while still being an excellent read, it was ruined in numerous places by the author completely losing the plot - and the publishers letting him. I won't say don't read it, but if I'd been the publisher reviewing this nonsense I'd have thrown it back at Mr Green and told him in no uncertain terms to re-write it. It's almost as if it was written by someone else. If I was to hazard a guess I'd say he was having a major mid-life crisis and they indulged him, it's that bad!

Can't be that harsh without evidence, eh?

• The first novel is set is a generic fantasy world, the sequel, a mere decade on reads in parts like a cheap Private Eye story set in 1920's New York!
  Gone are the lamps fed from phosphorescent moss - to be replaced by gas lights!
  A whole section appears based around Al Capone and syndicate crime and complete with violent dock strikes!
  They even do autopsies!
• Albeit the two heroes are supposed to be rather more battle hardened the use of bad language is far more than I've ever seen in any fantasy book, ever, to the point of being gratuitious. It doesn't bother me in the least, but more refined folk will think it beyond the pail.
• For some reason every so often the characters reach into a medical dictionary and bandy words like Oestrogen, caffeine is one of lifes essentials, as are cigarettes or "ciggies" and one of the people is popping pill like Uppers and Downers with gay abandon and declaring to himself that he "can stop any time, really"
• Finally, an this REALLY wound me up, 'cos I'm funny like that, for some insane reason after the traumatic previous folk turned to religion.
  Not just any religion, not some pagan diety, but flaming Christianity, replete with 'Him' and references to Jesus Christ and the crucifixion!!!
  Given that the setting is a fantasy world, not a post apocalyptic or alternative Earth the references are more out of place that a T-Rex in a children's petting zoo!

I'm lost for words! Beyond the Blue Moon? Beyond the Pale more like!